Top Drinking Alcohol Slogans, Quotes & Funny Sayings

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World No Alcohol Day is celebrated on October 2 every year. Alcohol-Free Weekend is celebrated on the first weekend of April. April is Alcohol Awareness Month.

Following are the inspiring anti alcohol slogans, Inspirational Drinking alcohol quotes, Funny Drinking Quotes and other quotes about drinking alcohol with images.

Anti Alcohol & Anti-Drinking Slogans – Sobriety

The Problem With Drinking And Driving Is … The Mourning After!

To Stay Out Of The Slammer, Don’T Get Hammered

Alcohol: Temporary Fun With Permanent Consequences

Drink The Rum, And Then You’Ll Be Dumb

Driving Hammered Will Get You Nailed

When Life Gives You Lemons You Make Lemon Aid. When Life Gives You Alcohol You Just Stay Away.

A Tree Never Hits An Automobile Except In Self Defense.

Don’t Drink And Drive, And You’ll Stay Alive.

You Can Hand Over Your Keys Or Your Life. Make The Right Choice.

The Driver Is Safer When The Roads Are Dry; The Roads Are Safer When The Driver Is Dry.

Don’t Do Booze, You Have Lots To Loose

You’Re Just A Punk If You’Re Drunk.

If Your Going To Get Hammered Your Going To Be Screwed.

Sobriety Is A Journey, Not A Destination

Allow Life To Thrive, Don’T Drink And Drive

Drink And Drive In And Our Officers Will Show You Some New Bars

Over The Limit. Under Arrest.

No One Wants To See You Black & Blue Or Dead, So How About Letting A Sober Friend Drive Instead.

You’Re No Punk So Don’T Drive Drunk.

When You Get Drunk You Get In A Funk And Smell A Skunk.

Under The Influence, Under Arrest.

You Booze You Cruise You Lose

Drinking And Driving Is A Gamble That You Just Can’T Win.

You Booze, You Cruise, You Lose.

Rethink Your Third Drink

Don’T Drink You’Ll Stink.

Think Before You Drink!

Be A Thinker Not A Drinker

Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk.

Drive Hammered. Get Slammed.

Stay Alive, Don’T Drink And Drive

Getting Drunk Makes Your Insides Junk

Champagne Only Brings Pain

Less Drinking, More Thinking

Decline That Wine

If You Constantly Drink Beer, Than For Your Health You Should Fear.

Wine Brings Out The Red In You

Boozers Are Losers

Make The Right Call Stay Away From Alcohol

52 Inspirational Alcohol Quotes – Alcoholism

“If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.” » Bumper sticker

“Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven’t touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now. I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane.” » Craige Ferguson

“Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.” » Bob Marley

“I was drawn to all the wrong things: I liked to drink, I was lazy, I didn’t have a god, politics, ideas, ideals. I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. I didn’t make for an interesting person. I didn’t want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone. On the other hand, when I got drunk I screamed, went crazy, got all out of hand. One kind of behaviour didn’t fit the other. I didn’t care.” » Charles Bukowski

“The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.”

“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” » Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald 

“Because alcohol is encouraged by our culture, we get the idea that it isn’t dangerous. However, alcohol is the most potent and most toxic of legal psychoactive drugs.” » Beverly A. Potter & Sebastian Orfali

“Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy, I’ve done it a thousand times.” » W.C. Fields

“Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.” » Jean Kerr

“When you go out with a drunk, you’ll notice how a drunk fills your glass so he can empty his own. As long as you’re drinking, drinking is okay. Two’s the company. Drinking is fun. If there’s a bottle, even if your glass isn’t empty, he’ll pour a little in your glass before he fills his own.” » Chuck Palahniuk

“If drinking is interfering with your work, you’re probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you’re probably an alcoholic.”

“A man who drinks too much on occasion is still the same man as he was sober. An alcoholic, a real alcoholic, is not the same man at all. You can’t predict anything about him for sure except that he will be someone you never met before.” » Raymond Chandler

“Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.” » Graham Greene

“I felt empty and sad for years, and for a long, long time, alcohol worked. I’d drink, and all the sadness would go away. Not only did the sadness go away, but it was fantastic. I was beautiful, funny, I had a great figure, and I could do the math. But at some point, the booze stopped working. That’s when the drinking started sucking. Every time I drank, I could feel pieces of me leaving. I continued to drink until there was nothing left. Just emptiness.” » Dina Kucera

“If four or five guys tell you that you’re drunk, even though you know you haven’t had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.” » Joseph Schenck

“There’s not alcoholic in the world who wants to be told what to do. Alcoholics are sometimes described as egomaniacs with inferiority complexes. Or, to be cruder, a piece of shit that the universe revolves around.” » Anthony Kiedis

“Alcohol is a make-you-stupid drug.” » Brain Boosters

“When you quit drinking you stop waiting.” » Caroline Knapp

“The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.” » Alcoholics

“Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.” » Herman Melville

“As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.” » Robin Williams

“The mentality and behaviour of drug addicts and alcoholics are wholly irrational until you understand that they are completely powerless over their addiction and unless they have structured help, they have no hope.” » Russell Brand

“And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.” » Augusten Burroughs

“Drunkenness is temporary suicide.” » Bertrand Russell

“Alcohol addiction stunts the spiritual, emotional and mental growth of a person. For the alcoholic, they literally stop wanting to learn or advance themselves on any level other than the one they are already on. This is why many alcoholics are emotionally stunted and are unable to contain their emotions. Many alcoholics believe that once they are sober for a few months they are cured. Nothing could be further from the truth. An alcoholic is not cured just because they stopped drinking. Remember, “the drinking” for the alcoholic is only a symptom of an underlying problem within him or her. Total sobriety takes more than abstinence–it takes a spiritual and mental awareness through healing and growth. I have never yet read about, or heard of a case where an alcoholic stopped drinking, but then years later they were able to drink one or two drinks and stop.” » Angie Lewis

“Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.” » Sammy Davis, Jr.

“Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.” » Seneca

“Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old.” » John Green

“I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it.” » Raymond Chandler

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” » Ernest Hemingway

“I like liquor — its taste and its effects — and that is just the reason why I never drink it.” » Stonewall Jackson

“Drugs or overeating or alcohol or sex, it was all just another way to find peace. To escape what we know. Our education. Our bite of the apple.” » Chuck Palahniuk

“Don’t trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover.” » Jimmy Breslin

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whoever is deceived thereby is not wise.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever drunk champagne before breakfast before. With breakfast on several occasions, but never before.” » From the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s

“The first step toward recovery from alcoholism is the recognition that a problem exists. Once the problem drinker breaks through denial and admits to having a problem, a range of treatment options become available.” » Jeffery S. Nevid

“Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools, to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.” » Robert Benchley

“It’s like an angel crying on your tongue.” » The Mentalist

“Alcoholism is a well documented pathological reaction to unresolved grief.” » David Cook

“Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.” » Big Bang Theory

“The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it’s egotism.” » Robert Frost

“One of the most important facts to remember about alcoholism is its progression. Alcoholism begins in an early stage that looks nothing at all like a life-threatening disease, proceeds into a middle stage where problems begin to appear and intensify, and gradually advances into the late, degenerative stages of obvious physiological dependence, physical and psychological deterioration, and loss of control.” » William F. Asbury

“In my lowest moments, the only reason I didn’t commit suicide was that I knew I wouldn’t be able to drink any more if I was dead.” » Eric Clapton

“Alcoholism is a devastating, potentially fatal disease. The primary symptom of having it is telling everyone–including yourself–that you are not an alcoholic.” » Herbert L. Gravitz & Julie D. Bowden

“One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.” » Lady Astor

“Alcohol is the anaesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” » George Bernard Shaw

“One key symptom of alcoholism is that the individual comes to need a drink for every mood–one to calm down, one to perk up, one to celebrate, one to deal with disappointment, and so on.” » Phyllis A. Balch

“No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness — or so good as drink.” » Lord Chesterton

“The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.” » Mignon McLaughlin

“Stay busy, get plenty of exercises, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.” » Herman

“I’ll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.” » M*A*S*H, Hawkeye

“If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.” » Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Funny Drinking Alcohol Quotes, Sobriety and Alcoholism Quotes

“I find the more I drink, the more interesting others become.” » Tom Ralphs

“Maybe talking when I’m pissed ass drunk isn’t entirely bright.” » Chris McGowan

“I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly” » Anchorman

“I knew I was drunk. I felt sophisticated and couldn’t pronounce it.”

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.” » Jack Handey

“Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.” » Catherine Zandonella

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” » Dave Barry

“All the problems fade before a hangover…”

“The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober.” » William Butler Yeats

“If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.” » David Daye

“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” » Rodney Dangerfield

“The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.” » William Butler Yeats

“I know I should give up drinking, but I am not a quitter.” » Anon

“All is fair in love and beer.” » Kurt Paradis

“A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.” » Anon

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” » Drew Carrey

“Drink what you want; drink what you’re able. If you are drinking with me, you’ll be under the table.”

“You won’t drink away the alcoholism”

“After the weekend the most difficult task is to remember names…

“Wine is bottled poetry.” » R L Stevenson

“Alcohol not only expands the blood vessels but also communications.

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” » Oscar Wilde

“I’d prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.” » Frank Nicholson

“Smoking is harmful, drinking is disgusting and to die young is a pity”

“Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.” » P.J. O’Rourke

“In principle, I can stop drinking, the thing is – I don’t have such a principle.”

“Ah, that’s just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.” » The Simpsons

“Let’s get drunk and tell each other everything we’re too afraid to say sober.”

“I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.” » John Marcellus Huston

“I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I’m drunk. We go to parties.”

“Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss.” » Robert Heinlein

“When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvellous personality that started you drinking in the first place.” » Jimmy Breslin

“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. ” » Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.”

“Never cry over split milk. It could’ve been whiskey.” » Pappy from Maverick

“If you wet your feet your throat will reject. If you ‘wet’ your throat your feet will reject.”

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” » Steven Wright

“The first glass is a sedative, the second a psychologist, the third glass an excuse, and the fourth a lobotomy.” » Terri Guillemets

“I got so wasted one night I waited for the stop sign to change, and it did.” » Steve Kravitz

“If only I knew that I will have this headache today, I would have got drunk yesterday.

“What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking! ” » George Gordon, Lord Byron, The Deformed Transformed

“If you drink, don’t park; accidents cause people.”

“Vodka is just awesome water.”

“I know my limits: if I fell down it means enough.”

“I feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” » Frank Sinatra

“A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck.”

“Being half drunk is just another way of saying -you’re almost there.”

“I drink to forget I drink.” » Joe E. Lewis

“It’s better to be a worldwide alcoholic, than an Alcoholics Anonymous.

“I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.” » Don Marquis

“An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor.” » Dr Alvan L. Barach

“When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.” » Frantois Rabelais

“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.” » Joe E. Lewis

“The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a beer bottle, they’re on TV.” » The Simpsons

“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” » F Scott Fitzgerald

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” » George Burns

“Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.”

“Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean… against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.”

“Why don’t you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?” » Robert Benchley

“One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.” » James Thurber

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” » Henny Youngman

“I am not an alcoholic. I simply enjoy living in a liquid medium.”

“No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.” » G. K. Chesterton

“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” » Ogden Nash

“I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been overserved.” » George Gobel

“How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?”

“They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.” » Scottish Proverb

“I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.” » H.L. Mencken

“I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.” » Oscar Levant

“Responsible drinking? Now that’s an oxymoron.” » Aaron Howard

“Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.” » N.F. Simpson

“Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?”

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” » Benjamin Franklin

“I’m going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver.” » Phil Harris

“I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.”

“Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?” » The Major and the Minor

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”

“I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade — and then try to find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party.” » Ron White

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” » Frank Sinatra

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in the water there are bacteria.” » Benjamin Franklin

“Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.” » P.G. Wodehouse

“I drink to make other people interesting.” » George Jean Nathan

“If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat — in other words, turn you into an adult.” » P.J. O’Rourke

“Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.” » The Simpsons

“He that drinks fast, pays slow.” » Benjamin Franklin

“I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.” » Joe E. Lewis

“Where ever I go, there I am. Drunk.” » Rita E. Torres

“Everybody should believe in something; I believe I’ll have another drink.” » Anon

“I don’t get drunk, I get awesome.”

“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house unless they have a well-stocked bar.”

“When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun, but when you mix the two you become a dumbass.” » That 70’s Show

“Don’t forget that alcohol helps to remove the stress, the bra, the panties and many other problems.

“Alcoholic friends are as easy to make as Sea Monkeys.” » Dry

“I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.” » Brendan Behan

“Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.” » Lord Byron

“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.” 

“I go angry when people ask me “Do you drink?” Like of course, I drink, I have water every day and when I want to loosen up a bit I have a juice box.”

“If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.” » Clement Freud

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” » W.C. Fields

“You won’t break our will: we drank, we are drinking and we will drink.”

“Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I’m thirsty, not dirty.” » Joe E. Lewis

“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” » Steve Fregosi

“We drink to one another’s health and spoil our own.” » Jerome K. Jerome

“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” » Winston Churchill

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” » George Burns

“Alcohol not only helps to make new acquaintances but also end the old once.

“My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.” » Henny Youngman

24 Quotes About Alcohol and Drinking

“But I’m not a saint yet. I’m an alcoholic. I’m a drug addict. I’m homosexual. I’m a genius.” » Truman Capote

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” » Frank Sinatra

“Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some of us drink because we’re not poets.” » Movie Arthur

“ Herb is the healing of a nation , no matter whether the narcotic is alcohol or morphine or idealism.” » Carl Jung

“It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.” » Thomas de Quincy

“No poems can please for long or live that are written by water drinkers.” » Quintus Horatius Flaccus

“I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day.”

“It’s like a switch, clickin’ off in my head. Turns the hot light off and the cool one on, and all of a sudden there’s peace.” » Tennessee Williams

“Whoever I had become had to die.” » Craig Ferguson, American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

“We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.” » Horace Hutchinson

“What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?” » Jack Handey

“This is a good place,” he said. “There’s a lot of liquor,” I agreed.” » Ernest Hemingway

“Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to the drinking of his own accord.” » Four Hundred Laughs

“I envy people who drink—at least they know what to blame everything on.” » Oscar Levant

“Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.” » Philip Rosenthal & Mike Royce

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.” » W.C. Fields

“The drunk mind speaks the sober heart.”

“The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind.” » H.L. Mencken

“My rule of life prescribed as absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.” » Winston Churchill

“My peers, lately, have found companionship through means of intoxication – it makes them sociable. I, however, cannot force myself to use drugs to cheat on my loneliness – it is all that I have – and when the drugs and alcohol dissipate, will be all that my peers have as well.” » Franz Kafka

“Upon occasion, we should go as far as intoxication…. Drink washes care away, stirs the mind from its lowest depths…. But in liberty moderation is wholesome, and so it is in wine…. We ought not to indulge too often, for fear the mind contract a bad habit, yet it is right to draw it toward elation and release and to banish dull sobriety for a little.” » Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.” » W.C. Fields

“Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.” » P. J. O’Rourke

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” » Hunter S. Thompson

“You got to realise that when I was 20 years old, I had a house, a Mercedes, a Corvette and a million dollars in the bank before I could buy alcohol legally.” » Dr. Dre

“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” » Winston Churchill

“My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.” » Winston Churchill

“ When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea.” » Ernest Hemingway

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” » George Bernard Shaw

“The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.” » William James

“I wish all teenagers can filter through songs instead of turning to drugs and alcohol. ” » Taylor Swift

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