“61. Ooh who’s that sexy beast? Oh I clicked on my own profile again.”
“62. Exercise? I thought you said “Extra Fries”.”
“63. My brain cells, skin cells, and hair cells continue to die. But my stubborn fat cells seem to have eternal life.”
“64. I can’t believe I work this hard to be this poor.”
“65. Research has shown that laughing for 2 mines is just as healthy as a 20 min jog. So now I’m sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.”
“66. I tried to act normal, worst 5 minutes of my life.”
“67. Middle age. That time in your life when you finally get your head together and then your body starts to fall apart.”
“68. When I grow up I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.”
“69. Dear Best friend, Please stay in my life forever because you’re one of the best things to ever happen to me.”
“70. Me: omg now I get it! Friend: u get what? Me: you know, when things heat, they expand. Friend: and? Me: I’m not fat, I’m hot.”
