American Quotes – Funny, Inspiring and Facts

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United Nations Day is from 20 to 26 October and Native American Day is a holiday in the U.S. states of California and South Dakota. It is celebrated to honours Native American cultures and contributions to their respective states and the United States.

Following are the American quotes, funny and inspirational with images.

American Quotes

“How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy.” » Paul Sweeney

“All great change in America begins at the dinner table.” » Ronald Reagan

“It’s Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas.” » Stephen Colbert

“Walt Whitman and Emerson are the poets who have given the world more than anyone else. Perhaps Whitman is not so widely read in England, but England never appreciates a poet until he is dead.”

“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.” » Dan Rather

“I do feel more myself in America. I can regress there, and they have roller-coaster parks.” » Alan Rickman

“In America, anyone can become President. That’s the problem.” » George Carlin

“America is the noisiest country that ever existed. One is waked up in the morning, not by the singing of the nightingale, but by the steam whistle.”

“It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.” » Mark Twain

“It only takes a room of Americans for the English and Australians to realise how much we have in common.” » Stephen Fry

“Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings.” » George Will

“I always have the most fun on the Fourth of July. You don’t have to exchange any gifts. You just go to the beach and watch the fireworks.” » James Lafferty

“Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honoured by posterity because he was the last to discover America.” » James Joyce

“I love my freedom. I love my America.” » Jessi Lane Adams

“In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it’s just one of the risks he takes.” » Adlai E. Stevenson

“She behaves as if she was beautiful. Most American women do. It is the secret of their charm.”

“I wonder that no criminal has ever pleaded the ugliness of your city as an excuse for his crimes.” (on Cincinnati)

“America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact — the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality.” » Adlai Stevenson

“I was very much disappointed in the Atlantic Ocean.”

“In one dancing saloon I saw the only rational method of art criticism I have ever come across. Over the piano was printed a notice: ‘Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.” » Oscar Wilde

“America’s a family. We all yell at each other, and it all works out.” » Louis C.K.

“America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilisation in between.”

“March Madness…the only place where you hear ‘Kansas is advancing.” » Bill Maher

“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.” » Stephen Colbert

“America is so vast that almost everything said about it is likely to be true, and the opposite is probably equally true.” » James T. Farrell

“What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to.” » Hansell B. Duckett

“And one day people will celebrate this day by getting shit-faced and lighting Chinese explosives on — Thomas Jefferson 1776.” » Zach Braff

“America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness – divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays.” » P.J. O’Rourke

“May I never wake up from the American dream.” » Carrie Latet

“As a New Yorker, I’m someone who lives on an island and looks across to America.” » Laurie Anderson

“What is the essence of America? Finding and maintaining that perfect, delicate balance between freedom “to” and freedom “from.” » Marilyn Vos Savant

“America is not a country, it is a world.”

“In America, sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it’s a fact.” » Marlene Dietrich

“My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbour, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.” » Yakov Smirnoff

“Ninety-eight per cent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other two percent have to generate their own sex and violence.” » Franklin P. Jones

“America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.”

“America is a tune. It must be sung together.” » Gerald Stanley Lee

“Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.” » Jackie Mason

“Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.” » Woody Allen

“You cannot spill a drop of American blood without spilling the blood of the whole world…. We are not a nation, so much as a world.” » Herman Melville

“In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.”

“Every American Bride is taken there, and the sight of that tremendous waterfall must be one of the earliest, if not the keenest, disappointments in American married life.” (on Niagara Falls)

“The first thing that struck me on landing in America was that if the Americans are not the most well-dressed people in the world, they are the most comfortably dressed.”

“There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.” » William J. Clinton

“America is a country that doesn’t know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.” » Laurence J. Peter

“I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.” » Bill Cosby

“I’ve got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren’t any. They’re always Irish-American, African-American… There’s never an American-American you can blame.” » Simon Munnery

“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.” » Bill Maher

“When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.” » George Carlin

“I love America more than any other country in this world; and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.” » James Baldwin

“Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that gets all the publicity. But then, we elected them.” » Lily Tomlin

“America, for me, has been the pursuit and catching of happiness.” » Aurora Raigne

“The beautiful, passionate, ruined South, the land of magnolias and music, of roses and romance . . . living on the memory of crushing defeats”

“We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.”

“What the people want is very simple. They want an America as good as its promise.” » Barbara Jordan

“In America you can say anything you want, as long as it doesn’t have any effect.” » Paul Goodman

“The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.”

“When good Americans die, they go to Paris. Where do bad Americans go? They stay in America”

“America has never quite forgiven Europe for having been discovered somewhat earlier in history than itself.”

“All people are born alike. Except Republicans and Democrats.” » Groucho Marx

“Everybody in American seems in a rush to catch a train.” » Oscar Wilde

“In America the young are always ready to give to those who are older than themselves the full benefits of their inexperience.”

“If you want a symbolic gesture, don’t burn the flag; wash it.” » Norman Thomas

“America is a passionate idea or it is nothing. America is a human brotherhood or it is chaos.” » Max Lerner

“New Rule: This Valentine’s Day, Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what’s on the inside only to discover that Democrats are too often soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts.” » Bill Maher

“Yet America is a poem in our eyes; its ample geography dazzles the imagination, and it will not wait long for metres.” » Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.” » Jon Stewart

“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.” » Elmer Davis

“What a pity, when Christopher Columbus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it.” » Margot Asquith

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